Not a Cent in Lent update/Preachy Post
Warning: this post is preachy and self-righteous and could be offensive to some.
Wow. I almost fell off the wagon last night. I’ve been doing some “window shopping” and stumbled across the most beautiful blouse in the world on ebay a few days ago. I didn’t even think twice and spontaneously bid on the item to my regret!!!!! I kept crossing my fingers that someone would outbid me … no such luck.
I contacted the seller before the auction ended and he said if I won, he would just cancel the transaction. Wow.
How generous and nice. I apologized profusely and still feel like a jerk about it, but am so glad I didn’t buy it.
I’m really trying to stick to my challenge for religious reasons, but also for reasons of integrity.
I think I learned my lesson by having to feel like a heel in retracting my bid. I still am grateful to the guy for letting me bow out.
I think I dodged a bullet, but learned my lesson.
My bookclub had a discussion about not a cent in lent last night (the CREATOR, my friend Jen) is in bookclub.
We talked about how it may seem a little self righteous to say so, but it is frustrating when so many people say, “Oh, how can you do that … it would be so hard, and so on.”
All we are doing is giving up buying NON ESSENTIALS until Easter. I buy food. I went and bought my daughter some dry erase markers her teacher said she needed to replace at school. I am NOT depriving myself. I have everything I NEED. Everything.
When you look at the world and look at so many people who don’t have the luxury to decide whether or not they are going to spend their money on non-essentials, it brings it all home. I think that is also the point of doing this Lenten challenge: Realizing that the essentials that we are “restricting” ourselves to during this short time period of Lent, are out of reach for some people.
Most of us are so insulated in our tidy, comfy little worlds that we don’t even remember how others are scraping by to provide food for their families.
We are doing OK financially now, but I try to never forget this because even though I have always been able to feed my family, always had clothes and always have had a roof over our heads, I have been in the position before where I am feeding my kids scrambled eggs for dinner a few nights a week because our food budget was the only place with any wiggle room — and EVEN STILL I was still INCREDIBLY wealthy compared to most people in the world.
All right, I’ll get off my soapbox now …
It is just something I feel passionate about and it’s OK if you don’t agree …
I didn’t find this offensive at all. It’s really a matter of want vs need, isn’t it? You need food, shelter and clothing. You want the pretty blouse, the latte at Starbucks, the bellydance hip scarf. Sometimes we get carried away and our wants become needs in our heads. I want a new pair of bellydance pants, since I wear them so often for classes and practice. However, I could sub in sweats instead and hold off on buying them, because in the summer/fall I’ll only be taking one class and practicing at home. I may decide they’re worth it in the end, but stopping, thinking and considering my options is useful because it cuts down on both financial and physical clutter.
I agree with what you have said 100%. Thanks for having the courage of voicing out a not so popular opinion. Some people chosing to live voluntary simplicity adopt “not one cent in lent” a few times a year. These hard economic times have got people thinking on our way of spending money, because for some people, it has hit really hard, they have had NO choice but to do so. Probably would have been easier had they done the ‘thinking about it’ before.
I enjoy reading whatever you post, Kristi. You’re a fantastic person inside and out!
It’s a bore to explain oneself to people who do not, and never will, understand. Perhaps it’s best to “opt out” and not even tell them what you’re doing in the first place, so that then you’re not placed in a position of explaining it. People who are unaffected by our personal decisions are not owed an explanation for them.
Just my deux centimes, of course!
I think it’s great that you’re doing so well with Lent.
Kristi – What a great post and not offensive at all. I’m experiencing the same thing and to me it’s life changing. I didn’t realize just how much I impulse shopped before. The day before my procedure I was at the pharmacy and was feeling sorry for myself and wanted to buy a bubble bath for $2.50 but stopped myself and ended up just filling my Rx and bought my husband some hair gel that he ran out of that morning. There is so much more to life and I’m noticing the little things more. I’m so happy that I’m content with what I have and I think it’s going to carry on even after lent. Why do I need more than one item i’m using anyway? I think it’s going to help keep my home clutter free and more organized too.
While I was unemployed/temping I was pretty much forced to cut back on things that weren’t necessary. I still made room in my budget for a few things that were more wants than needs, like wine and going out with M on the weekends, but I wasn’t able to buy a lot of the things that I really wanted like new clothes and things for my apartment. I definitely learned that it IS possible to live with very little…it might not always be fun but of course its possible! The choice you’ve made is only for a short while and anyone can do it with a little self-discipline. Another thing I learned from this is how to prioritize my spending…do I really want “this” badly enough to give up “that”? Out of the material things that I want what is the most important that I can purchase right now that will make my life better, easier, more beautiful etc.? While I never hope to feel as poor and restricted as I did over the past two years I also feel liberated to know that I can survive and survive beautifully on very little! If ever I’m in a similar situation I will be able to enter into it with self-confidence in my ability to make it through rather than the fear I first felt upon losing my job. The truth I’ve discovered is that living a great life (or a poor one) is more about consciously choosing to believe your life is wonderful (or horrible) than it is about how many things you can afford to fill it with.
In fact, if I hadn’t have just come through two years of basically what you are choosing to do now I would have done it with you! And starting next Lent I may very well start doing it anyway (even though I’m not a Catholic) just to remind myself of the valuable things I have learned from it.
Kristi,
I agree with Marsi that sometimes it’s just easier to ‘never complain, never explain’.
Also I have a quote on one of my folders “Obstacles help us uncover the difference between what we truly wnat and what we merely think we want” (sorry I have no idea where I got this), but it has informed many of my decisions on money. You are so right about folks like us having plenty while much of the world has so very little.
I’m doing pretty well with ‘not a cent’ but then again, I don’t have any disposable income right now!
hugs,
La
Marsi, La, Bobbi, Stephanie, Lorraine and Aurora,
thanks for the thought provoking comments …
I love how Marsi put it “it’s a bore to explain …”
I know most of you know how I already am a minimalist and frugal, etc. so this isn’t a great stretch for me, but it is so interesting how just putting the restriction on the spending makes it seem more appealing ….
I always think I don’t spend much money, but do find myself spending $10 or $15 here and there at the thrift store quite frequently for books or clothing items. Or even lattes out or other miscellenous things that seem small and add up.
Bobbi, that is one of the things I always remember about your first blog , how you made such a great life with little money. I’ll never forget how you would save up to buy a book …. I love that about you. We’re definitely soul sisters in that way.
Anyway, I lost my train of thought on all the things I wanted to respond to — -thanks for your input ladies! Have a great weekend.
K
I find it quite offensive when people seem ‘greedy’ for material possessions. Often these people are greedy in other ways too and mean (money-wise) towards others. In my head I am screaming ‘don’t you see what you already have? why do you need more?’ but outwardly I am calm. And I try not to discuss my frugality with others unless they bring it up about themselves. Like you say Kristi, they just don’t understand. I feel they would think I’m a little strange or worse, feel sorry for me! Even the close family members and friends who know my husband and I live a very frugal life can’t understand when we splash out for a fancy dinner or stay the night in the nicest hotel for a special occasion. ‘Thought you were saving’, we hear. They don’t understand these special and rare times are essentially free because we are very careful when grocery shopping, don’t buy stuff we don’t need, borrow library books rather than buy them etc. We just keep our mouths shut now, like Marsi and La say. I love this post and all the comments!
Hi, Kristi,
This is the first time writing to you but I am a regular reader of your blog.
Your post reminds me of a book I recently finished titled “Bitter is the New Black” by Jen Lancaster. Perhaps you and your other readers have read it, but definitely worth checking out. Great for a book club selection.
Well said everyone,
Janice
Good post and good comments. We do truly live in a land of plenty and we complain. Kristi, due to your initial post I decided to do “Not a Cent for Lent” and except for a couple of impulse buys I almost made, I haven’t found it all that difficult. One, because I am already of this mind set and two, because I’m not really doing without. However, I actually am saving money that tended to disappear with little impulse buys here and there.
So many Americans define wants as needs when most of us have all of our wants met. I’m glad to know there are people who realize that.
I think it is hard to have a counter culture view, period. Its a hard thing to accept when I have found (especially by a hard process of trial and error) a path of success in an area NOT to share it (unless asked) harder to remember that not everyone else has come to the same place revelation that I have about a subject-and as such may not value the idea as such. Hardest yet not to feel superior… I certainly understand what you are saying, but I wish I didn’t. We are kind of like salmon swimming upstream sometimes–but in the end the hope is that we live the life we want to. Lots of people have a hard time understanding that it IS possible to do that regardless of their current circumstances…
Hi Kristi,
I agree 100% with you…in addition, I hope, to spiritual growth, this experience is showing me where my financial “black holes” lie. This experience reminds me to be grateful for my priceless blessings of health and love – I think of my relatives in the Philippines, especially cousins who are my age and struggling to even eat three meals a day! Definitely cultivates gratitude. I am also just realising that I tend to purchase the same things over and over again, such as black pants/tees/blazers! Who needs 4 pairs of the same pants? Yikes!
I, too, almost fell off the wagon this week! I almost purchased another lipstick though I have a brand new one purchased just before Lent. Makeup is another financial drain on me. Help! Any advice on avoiding temptation and strategies to “scratch the itch” to buy??
Merci et a bientot,
Jeanne
Jeanne,
Well I am Catholic and so my husband says when you feel this “temptation” that is the perfect moment to take a minute and think about your spirituality. While that is ideal, that isn’t always what I do.
My much more shallow answer is I have found that by making a list of items I want to buy I can scratch the itch a bit. The beauty of a list is when you review it a week, a month or whatever later, you can see if you truly still want the item. Often yes, sometimes, no.
Aaonce, and everyone else who spoke about keeping it to myself … it is so true. I will think of it as part of maintaining my mystique.
With relatives I had to pass on a few things the family was doing because of it so they are aware of it.
Now, I’m just rambling, need to finish that first cup of coffee to get some clarity!