Home > Living La Dolce Vita > It looks like not only French men appreciate older women

It looks like not only French men appreciate older women

January 24th, 2010

Let me preface this by saying I was searching for the Top 10 books of the decade and got sucked into AskMen.com’s top 10 lists and believe me they have a lot of them and they are fun to read.

You don’t have to be of a certain age to learn from these examples. For instance, there are many women much younger than me who embody a lot of these qualities. It is something we can also appreciate about ourselves as we age. And their idea of an older woman — between 29 and 45 still is a bit younger than what we would call “of a certain age” but still worth reading.

Top 10: Things We Love About Older Women

This year’s Top 99 Women prove that we find maturity hot, and here’s why.

By Andrew Moore, Entertainment Correspondent

Page 1:

One truth that emerges from our list of the Top 99 Most Desirable Women of 2010 is that men love older women. This is not to say we have some weird thing for the elderly, but rather that, on average, our taste in women skews a little older than most people might expect.

While pop culture often idealizes the 19-year-old sexpot and the barely legal college coed, men at this moment in history are more attracted to somewhat older women. The average age of the Top 99 winners is 29. And while the youngest age of one of our most desirable women is 19, the oldest is 45. The stats indicate that we’re attracted to women with a little more maturity, and it’s not hard to see why.

Check out this list of the top 10 things we love about older women.

Page 2: Older women are independent

One of the top 10 things we love about older women is their independence. Older women are typically more comfortable being alone. They’ve spent time in and out of relationships and consequently they know how to get along fine without us by their sides every single moment. They know that they don’t need a boyfriend attached to their hip to be happy. This means that older women are less likely to be clingy or needy, which makes them much easier to get along with.

Page 3: Older women are assertive

Older women often have a clearer sense of who they are and what they want. Consequently, they’re less timid when it comes to men and they’re also less inclined to play games. While a woman in her early 20s might waste your time playing hard to get, or trying to make you jealous, a woman even five or 10 years older is more likely to cut to the chase and be upfront about her feelings or lack thereof.

That kind of forthrightness is refreshing; it can even be a turn-on. And it’s another one of the top 10 things we love about older women.

Page 4: Older women offer good conversation

There’s nothing like going out on a date and having a 45-minute conversation about Spiedi, followed by a scintillating story about how your date was going to buy this one purse, but instead she didn’t and got this other purse instead.

A good conversation is one of those things we tend to take for granted until we haven’t had one in a while. Great conversation skills are something that younger women often lack, not so much because they’re women, but mostly because they’re young. Quite simply, older women have lived longer. They’ve seen things, done things and been places.

They have more interesting stories and more experience, and that makes them better conversationalists. Don’t underestimate the importance of talking; it will keep a relationship interesting long after the spark of the initial attraction has faded.

Page 5: Older women have more money

OK, so perhaps this entry on our list is a bit mercenary. However, we prefer to think of it as “pragmatic.” The truth is, older women do tend to have more money than younger women. We’re not saying that’s the most important thing to consider when dating someone. It’s just a comfort for guys to know they aren’t going to have to pay for every single date over the course of a relationship. Nor are they going to have to pay her cell phone bill when her burgeoning modeling career “temporarily” stalls.

Page 6: Older women have more mature friendships

Younger women are often deeply entangled in cliques. Through texts, phone calls and daily e-mails they’re constantly checking in with their gal pals. In order to become her boyfriend, you have to have the approval of her friends. Before you make plans, she’s got to check with Mitsy and Bitsy. It can be exhausting.

Older women are often less invested in seeking the approval of their female friends. They don’t need to consult their friends before making even the most minor decisions. Older women are more confident and self-reliant; their friendships are more mature. They’ve had time to sift through the fair-weather friends, the hangers-on and the airheads, and they’ve streamlined their social networks.

Page 7: Older women make better dates

The thing that makes older women better dates is that they have more sophisticated tastes. Plain and simple, older women do grown-up things and that’s another one of the top 10 things we love about them.

They’re not interested in getting stupid drunk and passing out in a public washroom. They’re not interested in grinding on a dance floor to obnoxiously loud techno music. Older women are past their rebellious phase and over their need to be the center of attention.

Page 8: Older women are less drama-prone

Maybe it’s because younger women experience a lot of firsts that they seem unprepared to navigate life’s twists and turns. First loves, first broken hearts, first betrayals: we suppose it can all seem like too much sometimes. Younger women just always seem to have more drama in their lives than their more experienced counterparts do. Due to their immaturity, younger women tend to magnify the importance of every little thing. When you’re dating a really young woman, there always seems to be a new catastrophe or crisis. It’s really impossible to avoid getting sucked into the drama, pointless as it may seem.

Most older women are cooler under pressure; they know how to deal with disasters, and they can often handle them on their own.

Page 9: Older women have more sexual experience

Perhaps the most common reason men cite for wanting to date older women is superior sex. Older women are better in bed. Period. They’ve gotten over all the little insecurities and anxieties that can negatively impact your sex life. Older women are comfortable in their own skin. Moreover, they know how to make the bedroom exciting and interesting. They’ve graduated beyond the bedroom basics and their experience often makes them more willing to try new things.

Page 10: Older women have more relationship experience

Older women know how to handle the trials and tribulations associated with relationships because they’ve been through just about all of it before. She’s going to have more realistic expectations. She’s less likely to have a princess complex. Older women are typically more measured and well-mannered in their response to relationship crises, which makes the chances of a long-term relationship with her much better.

Page 11: Older women value your time together

Equipped with a clear sense of what’s really important in life, older women are more appreciative of the time you spend together and they aren’t likely to be reckless with your emotions. That’s the thing we love most about older women.

While younger women often don’t take men, relationships or life in general very seriously, an older woman understands the value of a good man. She’s seen what’s out there, she knows what’s at stake and she’s not likely to take you for granted.

Categories: Living La Dolce Vita Tags:
  1. January 24th, 2010 at 09:04 | #1

    K, thanks for this. And being an *older woman* I guess I have to agree!

  2. Marsi
    January 24th, 2010 at 09:45 | #2

    These are all so true. But I think it must’ve been written by an older man (or men) because the perspective is so clear-headed and experienced.

  3. January 24th, 2010 at 12:30 | #3

    Interesting and I agree. I love the woman’s hair in that photo. Is that Ines?

  4. BethG
    January 24th, 2010 at 12:42 | #4

    All of a sudden, I’m DELIGHTED to be 50!

  5. January 24th, 2010 at 14:12 | #5

    This is very interesting! Love that picture too

  6. Ashley
    May 3rd, 2011 at 15:18 | #6

    This is actually retarded. You can be young or old to have a good conversation, be independent, assertive, drama-less, appreciate a good man, have mature friendships, and be upfront with what you want! Most of these things depend on the maturity level of the woman not her age. I am 17 and i can relate to all those things (well except having more sexual experience, but i’m totally confidant in my skin!)
    just because a woman is older it doesnt mean she’ll have all those things. Sadly i know women who are in their 30’s and 40’s and still arent mature!!! they make me feel like im 50 and they are 20 just because im more mature. I dont wanna come off as cocky but it is the truth. Plus if the guys go for older women mostly because of the sex experience then obviously they arent thinking of a long term relationship! AND i work at a lingerie store where older women come and they are 10 times more insecure about their bodies than younger women. now imagine they wanna go with a younger and more energetic man! Their insecurities becomes x10!
    Anyway my point is most of the things you said has nothing to do with age, only maturity.

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What is it about those Italian women? You know the ones I’m talking about: beautiful, sexy, dressed to the nines just to take the kids to the park. They have a certain something that is indefinable. It is in the way they dress, the way they prepare their meals, the way they spend their leisure time.

It is because they know the importance of la bella figura. Roughly translated from Italian, it means putting you best foot forward in everything you do. It means cutting a beautiful figura. The opposite of la bella figura is la brutta figura, which is what someone might say about the falling down drunken guy at the party or the super tackily dressed woman at church. It means ugly figure.

La bella figura is much more than your appearance. It goes much deeper than that. It is about how you act. It is about how you treat others. It is about how you care for yourself, your home and your family. Living a life in line with la bella figura doesn’t take money. In fact, it is more about how to have class without a lot of money.

Someone who exudes la bella figura will have clean, pressed clothes and be well groomed. They will not be rude or sloppy. Their fingernails will be impeccably groomed. Their hair shiny and clean and their shoes will be polished. They will not have stray threads hanging from their suit hems. They will not be driving a car in need of the car wash.

La bella figura means driving that 15 year old car and meticulously cleaning it and caring for it. It means keeping your belongings in good repair. It means taking time to clean your house and not cluttering it up with meaningless objects.

When you focus all your spare energy, time and money on the things that bring you the most amount of pleasure, then you are truly living a life in line with la bella figura. The best part about it is that you don’t have to be Italian to do so. You just have to think like an Italian.

Italian children are raised to present la bella figura in whatever they do. From the time they are small and are groomed perfectly to attend church or school, they know that appearances count. They count because it is the first thing people judge about you. That first impression does matter. Appearances are also important because when you take the time to look nice, you are showing that you care about yourself. When you care enough to look good, it shows you have good healthy self esteem. Nothing is more attractive than self confidence.

In addition, dressing nice also shows respect for others. If you invite people over for dinner and greet them in flip flops, baggy sweats and a stained shirt, it is really disrespectful to them. The same if you dress sloppy to go to church or even to the market. By dressing nicely and being well groomed, you show respect for everyone in your world.

Having la bella figura means presenting yourself in the best light possible in all your interactions.