Outfit:

Turquoise Velvet Tee

Navy Target skirt

Vintage Oscar de la Renta turquoise/black/white scarf

Black Dansko sandals

Silver bracelet

*I changed out of my skirt and into jeans and boots for soccer tonight.

Menu:

Breakfast: slice of homemade  bread toasted with butter and apricot Bonne Maman, cafe au lait

Snack: banana; coffee

Lunch: Romaine salad with homemade vinaigrette, pieces of salami, colby cheese, avocado and blueberries; slice homemade bread dipped in olive oil with parmesan sprinkled in it.

Dinner: Spaghetti with garlic, olive oil, parmesan cheese and tons of fresh ground black pepper; romaine salad with avocado and honey mustard homemade vinaigrette; wine

 Finding your Style

with the help of one of my all-time favorite books:

 Simple Isn’t Easy, How to find your personal style and look fantastic every day!

by Olivia Goldsmith and Amy Fine Collins

I quoted from this book yesterday and decided to include more from it. This little pink book made a HUGE impact on me. It completely changed the way I dressed, the way I thought about dressing and how I shopped.

If you are really struggling to establish your “style” here’s  some strategies or “six never-fail fixes” the authors give:

1. Use a Single Color

Priscilla, a big, tall Texas blonde, wears virtually any silhouette, from a minidress to a formal suit — as long as the outfit is red. “Valentine red makes me happy,” she explains. “And I get my variety in wearing my skirts slim or bouffant, or wearing slacks and sweaters or any shape I want to. It’s just all in red. It’s become my trademark, in a way. All my friends give me red gifts. My little sister does the same with cotton-candy pink.

The single-color strategy is especially common in the fashion world, though there the color of choice is most often black (a gathering of designers, models and editors could be mistaken for a pallbearers’ convention). Why black? Because almost all blacks go together — not to mention the fact that that day’s stains and wrinkles seem to disappear, and that black is always slimming. Also, black has been perceived as chic since before Chanel invented the little black dress. “Black is not a trend. It’s there forever,” says Geoffrey Beene.

But remember that there is a complication in the one-color strategy: not all oranges are created equal. Nor is the one color that you have chosen always going to be available. One reason why the monochrome look is most popular with red, black, white, beige or navy is because these colors are fashion perennials and almost always offered each season. Even if a color is meant to be consistent, dye lots change from bolt to bolt and season to season. Certain colors are deemed to be “in” by the garmentos one season only to disappear by the next one. If you’ve settled on your favorite shade, just be warned that color is sometimes harder to match than to contrast or combine.

2. Stick with the Perennial Fashion Colors

As mentioned above, this is another color-based fashion strategy. Use black, white, red, beige and navy. You can build a wardrobe just on mixing these five colors and add from the best of any new season’s offering, secure in the knowledge that they will mix well together.

(This is one strategy I whole-heartedly embrace!)

3. Select a Single Silhouette and Stick with it

This one is tricky, since we know all too well that silhouettes change faster than leaves in autumn.

Mary, Amy’s friend, is arrestingly chic at age eighty and has been wearing the same dress for decades. Boy, does she look great in it. No, not just one dress, silly! A whole closet full of jewel necked, long-sleeved, knee-length chemises that she sews herself, copied after one very costly original purchased way back in the midsts of time. Amy’s seen it in fluttering light silk in  the summer, thick nubby tweed in the winter and it never ceases to impress. Mary not only found her style at an early age, but had the courage, savvy and spirit to stick with it.

A friend of mine bypasses retail establishments altogether. Tomboy-casual yet well-groomed, Jan wears either jeans and cardigan sweaters she handknits or suits made by her husband’s tailor, “always cut from the same pattern. And cheaper than lots of off-the-rack women’s suits.”

Sophia Loren has her own bifurcated version of this strategy. “I like classic clothes for day, but when I go out at night, I like fluffy evening dresses. When you walk in one you feel like you are conquering the world.” Well, it works for her. I’d feel silly and self-conscious in a huge taffeta skirt. But hey, she’s got her (two) uniforms and I’ve got mine.

4. Stick with a Single Designer

There are times when that rare miracle occurs. You try on a dress or a pantsuit and you know — it was made for you. It fits everywhere. It flatters, it feels good. You want to wear it out of the shop and never take it off. You want to sleep and shower in it. Who designed it? What’s on the label? Thank the maker. If you’re lucky (and the designer is good) it will be like coming home every time you slip on his clothes.

Diana Vreeland, while fashion editor of Harper’s Bazaar, had the opportunity to wear anything in the world, but day in and out, she wore only Mainbocher suits. She found a designer, she found a uniform and she looked divine. In fact, she became a legend.

Cynthia Carter, wife of Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Graydon, has a completely different look which also transcends fashion. For her it is about masses of dark curly hair, pale skin and romantic, layered ensembles by Romeo Gigli. No one else looks like her, but everyone else looks AT her — admiringly.

Amy also wholeheartedly embraces this monogamous fashion philosophy, in her clothes (Beene), her pantyhose (Hanes,) and even her exercise wear (Gilda Manx). She finds this strictness about her choices liberating.

But buyer beware: With Seventh Avenue pattern makers, fit models and fabricators changing as often as your underwear and design teams large enough to fill a football stadium, consistency in a given label is rare and should be valued. When it’s found, be faithful.

5. Stick with a Single Outfit in Every Color Available

Geoffrey Beene’s design assistant tells us his most fashion savvy clients often purchase the same outfit in every color available, rather than buying all over the entire collection. The manager of one chic shoe boutique in New York says that her most well-shod customers do the same with their favorite pumps or boots. I myself have the same pair of terrific lace-up boots in black, brown and tan.

6. Dark Bottom, Colored Top

As I mentioned (earlier in the book), I came up with a fairly simple solution for myself: Pear-shaped, like most women, I feel most comfortable and look best in dark slacks or skirt and tights. But because head-to-toe black is too boring and severe for me, I add my neutral-toned jackets and sweaters, often with a white blouse under them. If your upper half is your better half, I add this suggestion of Eleanor Lambert, creator of the International Best-Dressed List: “Save interesting details and colors for above the waist — people will notice your face first, not your hips.”

The authors end the chapter with this thought:

“The unifying principle behind each of these strategies is what we call THE RULE OF ONE. One color, one palette, one silhouette, one outfit … ONE STYLE!

“The single idea that rings through all these approaches is that simplicity and discipline are necessities. Very few women have the time, interest, money, talent and lifestyle to support a wardrobe that requires Imelda Marcos’s closetful of shoes and a dedicated ladies maid. Yet you may feel these suggestions threaten you. Examine your resistance. Where’s the variety? you may wonder. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the unexpected? Not to mention, what will you do with all that extra junk hanging in your closet now?

“If you do feel threatened, ask yourself: Is this what I want from my clothes — excitement, variety, thrills? Sadly, we’ve observed that for many women what they really want in their LIVES appears only in their CLOSET. My friend Lisa kept buying little cocktail dresses whenever she shopped. One day, she had what we call a moment of fashion enlightenment. “I NEVER got to cocktail parties,” she confessed. “But I can’t stop buying these dresses. I think I want to live the life I’m shopping for.” There CAN be fun, pleasure and excitement in YOUR closet, but it should be based on your reality. If you don’t have a place to wear a dress you want to own, then change your life, not your wardrobe.

A few other rules to remember as you “try on” a style.

Accept that you can’t be everything. Letting go is a part of this process.

Accept that you can’t have everything. Even if you could afford to, it wouldn’t help you to look better.

Pick the things you can live in most comfortably and happily. Some things look good but don’t feel good. Others are the reverse. People tell me that I look good in red, and I can see that I do. But I don’t feel comfortable in red. So I’ve given it up. Decide on the things that work best both ways. We all want to find the utopian place where comfort meets good looks.

Outfit:

Turquoise JCrew tee

Paris Blues jeans — These jeans are my “”benchmark” jeans. During the winter I don’t even look at them. They won’t fit. I usually don’t try them on until summer when I have had a chance to be out walking for a few weeks. Happily when I put them on today they fit.

Black velvet French Sole ballet flats

Turquoise dangly earrings (Target)

Menu:

Breakfast: One slice homemade bread toasted spread with butter and peanut butter; cafe au lait

Lunch: Salad — romaine lettuce with avocado, salami and mozzarella cheese pieces with vinaigrette; slice homemade bread that I dipped in olive oil with salt and parmesan cheese sprinkled in it

Snack: Biscotti and Chamomile tea

Dinner: Meatball submarine sandwiches using leftovers from last night ( mozzarella cheese, meatballs, marinara sauce), water 

Armoire, Part I of III

This is the first in a three-part series on the creating the perfect wardrobe and establishing your personal style.  

Today I will share what Nancy Marie in Style, Beauty, Trimness has to say about clothing choices. She includes a list of essential wardrobe items. I’ve read dozens of these over the years and this one seems to fit my style the best, so I thought I’d include it.

Here’s what Marie has to say about looking chic and stylish:

“The number one, simplest, easiest and fastest way to make oneself look good is with the right clothing…It has the means to automatically transform a person. .. Clothes have the ability to make us feel incredible, whether we are dressing ourselves for the fanciest of parties or just a Saturday of grocery shopping. What we put on makes all the difference in the world. ”

Marie goes on to say that no matter whether you have a slim, medium or plus size figure, you can look good with the right clothes…

“Basics that never go out of style, never look dated and that are available everywhere whether one prefers shopping at the fancy department stores or the chic/cheap thrift stores:”

* Jeans

* Chic Tops

* Knee-length skirts

* Trim slacks

* The wear anywhere little black dress

* The formal outfit

* The lingerie

* The accessories

* The attractive and comfortable shoes

“They all matter. They are simple, timeless basics. Nothing trendy or outlandish about them. You can buy them at any price point.”

I especially love what Nancy Marie has to say about only owning what you love:

“Excess is rarely the best approach towards elegance,” she writes. “Why do we think we need so much? Many women have tons of clothes but ‘have nothing to wear.’ Pair down to the basics. Have a love affair with your clothes! If you love everything in your closet, you will radiate the confidence that comes from being dressed in an outfit that makes you feel fantastic. Own nothing unattractive. If it does not fit, is ugly or simply does not make you feel good: donate it.

“If you own nothing unattractive, you will never have to worry about looking anything less than good.”

10 Essential Items in the Stylish Woman’s Closet

1&2 Perfectly fitted pairs of jeans. Should always have a neat, clean appearance. No wrinkles. No rips. No trendy details. Choose the classic styles, not the trends. Nothing baggy or loose in fit. Nothing skin tight or painted on, either. Stick with an elegant tailored fit. A simple straight leg or slight boot cut are the most non-trendy and flattering. A bit of stretch in many of the jeans available today ensure a trim fit and comfort also. Darker colors are slimming.

3, 4 & 5 Perfectly fitted skirts (or slacks or more jeans, depending on ones individual lifestyle and preferences). Solid, neutral colors instead of loud prints. Prints can be difficult to mix and match for various outfit options. Nothing trendy. Skirts are recommended to be knee length or a tiny bit above. Avoiding the extremely long or the extremely short. These should be wearable basics appropriate almost anywhere.

6, 7, 8, & 9 Perfectly fitted tops. Will differ from winter to summer. Favorite colors will depend on the individual. Nothing terribly low cut, trendy or flashy. Keep them elegant and attractive.

10. Perfectly fitted, classic, little black dress. Again, avoiding anything too extreme. Can be dressed up or dressed down infinitely.

Outfit:

This is how I dress: I wore this tee yesterday for a few hours to church. It is still clean. I’m wearing it again today. Some people might be horrified by this. In fact, I have relatives who keep charts of what they wear to make sure they don’t duplicate anything. Not me. If it is clean, I’m wearing it again, even if it is the  next day.

Teal JCrew tee

Levis, cuffed

Black Dansko sandals

Vintage Mexican silver choker

Menu:

Breakfast: homemade toast with butter and apricot Bonne Maman

Lunch: Salami and pepper jack cheese on 1/2 sub roll with Dijon, 1/2 banana

Dinner: Rigatoni pasta with an italian sausage (the crumbly kind) marinara, slice fresh bread with butter, green beans cooked in shallots, garlic and breadcrumbs, green salad with red wine vinegar and olive oil  

Style Beauty Trimness: The art of being stylish, attractive and well turned out

 by Nancy Marie

An online friend sent me this book on Saturday. I love it. One part that really resonated with me was about  being true to yourself. Stylewise, I had a really hard time adjusting to moving to the Midwest after living in L.A. and San Francisco. I have mentioned this before, but I didn’t want to alienate potential new friends by the way I dressed. I often am the only mom at the park in nice sandals and a skirt.  I will never change the way I dress and will never “dress down,” but I admit I have sometimes felt like an outsider or that people are criticizing me behind my back for taking the time to dress nice. Paranoid? Maybe.

I’m pretty much known for not caring what anyone else thinks, but even the fact that I’ve had these thoughts may mean I need to relax a little in this area.

This book had something very interesting to say about this:

“Do you dress down because you are afraid of not fitting in? Do you enjoy wearing attractive clothing but lose your nerve because others in your area do not bother with style at all? Do you feel like fluffing your hair and wearing some lipstick to the market but are afraid the other women will glare at you because you look more polished than they do? Are you terrified of potential ridicule?

“Worse, do you criticize those people in your own inner circule for showing their individuality because you are so unbelievably worried about what everyone will think of you? Sadly, this is a form of insecurity. In fact, it is one of the most pre-eminent and obvious forms of insecurity that plagues otherwise fabulous women today and it is definitely noticeable in the way one presents themself.

“You see, when you are constantly looking around you to see what everyone thinks about you, your partner, your family, whatever, you have a tendency to carry yourself and behave in ways that make your insecurity extremely obvious to the more secure people around you. Take a moment to consider the fact that most of the time people are too busy to notice the little things … the average person going about daily life really does not notice or care that much about your so-called flaws, outfit, children, etc.

“Have you ever wondered why some women seem to radiate confidence? It is because they do not care even the slightest bit what the world thinks about them. They do things to please themselves and to heck with what everyone else might think! Most of the truly confident women one sees have learned to embrace their individuality and simply be themselves instead of attempting to fit in.”

“… Be yourself. Be an individual. … This is merely suggesting that you relax, stop worrying about the meaningless opinions of others and think about your own individuality and means of self-expression. What is important to you? What do you genuinely like? What do you dislike? Conformism is not an issue to the truly stylish and confident. In fact, it would be considered an insult to be thought of as a conformist. Every effort is made to both look good and stand out as an individual.”

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Somehow I don’t think our Italian, French, Spanish, Greek, etc. sisters have to worry about this.

It is expected that you will dress well. Which is where the Italian phrase “Bella Figura” comes from.

La Bella Figura refers to the Italian concept that you must always look and act your best in every situation. It translates roughly to beautiful figure or beautiful image and is a central part of Italian culture.

Italians always strive to be well-dressed and artfully groomed and put their best foot forward in every instance.

 Outfit:

Black crochet-bodice tee from Marshalls

Levis

Black Dansko walking sandals

silver and diamond pendant necklace

Sorry for the uninspired pictures lately. I’m sick of talking about being sick, so let me just say it was about all I could do just getting dressed this morning. With a little more energy, or if I were going anywhere besides the backyard to water my tomatoes, I would put on a silver bangle and silver hoop earrings, but alas, I didn’t!

Menu: (I WANT my appetite back. Now.)

Breakfast: small dish whole milk plain yogurt with raisins. cafe au lait

Lunch: about 3 oz of roasted chicken breast spread with Dijon and a hunk of mozzarella cheese. A tangerine popsicle. Lots of camomile and honey tea.

Dinner: Green beans steamed and tossed in olive oil, sea salt, big hunk of mozzarella cheese, cherries

Beauty Routine

One of my readers, Phyllis, asked about my makeup routine, especially as someone who works at home.

Sometimes it’s hard to get into the habit of putting on makeup when you are staying home and unlikely to see anyone else all day. As my dear fellow Italian-American friend Celeste said once, “And who wants to waste that expensive MAC lipliner when no one can see it!” But we do it for our own self-esteem.

I try to emulate the French and Italians and put more emphasis on taking care of my skin before I put makeup on, so I’ll start with that. About 10 years ago I began using the three-part Proactiv system (grainy cleanser, toner and refining lotion — for acne).  I would never buy from an infomercial except my darling cousin had tried it, has similar skin to me and raved about it. And lo and behold, it worked. I’ve tried to stop using it a few times just to check if it is really effective and, yep, it is. When I’ve run out, my skin has most definitely become worse. With that said, however, I know people who have had zero success with the product line, as well.

Each night, after taking off my eye makeup with a generic version of cetaphil, I use the three-part ProActiv system.  Now that I’m “of a certain age” I began looking around for something to treat wrinkles. After a lot of research I found the only thing consistely recommended to REALLY WORK was a prescription retinoid. A few months ago I began using one and let me tell you, it is the most amazing product. Mine is a tretinoin cream, generic for Retin-A.

I spread some of this cream on my face before bed each night. It’s lovely because it both helps with acne and with wrinkles and some even claim, with skin-cancer protection. I’m at high risk for melanoma and some believe the exfoliating properties of a retinoid can slough the skin before cancers can form. Whether it’s true or not, I’m super happy with this new addition to my nightly skin care. It has made my skin look a lot fresher.

In the morning, I only wash my face with a cheap-o washcloth with just warm water on it. Because the washcloth is somewhat grainy, it does a small amount of exfoliating, as well. But I do it gently.

Then, instead of a moisturizer, I use a sunscreen with an spf of at least 30, but am still testing out which ones I like the most. (One that won’t make my face shiny). Then a slightly moisturizing foundation with spf, then eyeliner, mascara and lately, instead of lipliner and lipstick, I’ve just put on my spice MAC lipliner with a lip balm over it.

After I turned a certain age, I completely changed my makeup routine. I used to be the type of gal who wore little or no eye makeup, but was never without her signature, bright red lipstick. I  realized as I got older that this look aged me. I truly believe that some women can pull off red lipstick FOREVER. But sadly, I was forced to admit that I WAS NOT one of them. It just made me look harsh and OLD.

To adapt to this difference, I began to diligently make up my eyes every day. Something I had considered too much of a bother in the past. I hated taking the time to do it and hated taking the time to take off the makeup at night. Now, it’s just a habit and I put on eyemakeup even when I’m just staying home.

It’s so funny because most people who meet me say my eyes are my most striking feature, but it took me 40 years of life to begin emphasizing them in my makeup routine. Silly. I like my mouth, but it is small, nicely shaped, but small, so I always felt like I needed bright lipstick to make it more attractive. So for years, instead of concentrating on what my assets were and emphasizing them, I focused on what I felt were my drawbacks. I think for years I did exactly the opposite of what a smart Italian or French woman would have done.

Gosh, it’s great getting older and having all these insights. Of course, my most important insights have not been about my looks or style or anything like that. The most important insights are being able to love myself for exactly who I am. Vicki Archer just had a great post about this on her blog, French Essence, about being comfortable in your skin and how French women naturally are.

I think I finally have achieved this. Each year I care less and less about what others think about me and this is so freeing! Because of this deeper self knowledge and self confidence, for me getting older is exciting. I hope that you are all blessed to feel this way as well.

In my lifelong quest at achieving la bella figura ( the Italian concept that you must always look and act your best in every situation), I have accumulated some tips from different sources that I will share with you today. I have broken them down in a few different categories for simplicity.

Eating

– Only eat while seated

– Put utensils down between bites

– Take small bites. Chew thoroughly

– Stop before fully satisfied

– Eat mindfully, savoring each bite

– Only eat delicious food (I think someone once said “Eat well or not at all”)

– No snacking.

– No guilt about food. Eat exactly what you please!

Dressing

– Maintain a slim armoire (see Anne Barone’s Chic and Slim books for more on this)

– Only wear what you LOVE. Only buy clothes that scream “YES” when you try them on.

– Stick to a limited palette, based on perennial fashion colors and maybe one or two signature colors you love

– Buy less. Pay more.

– Once you become of a certain age, put your money into “investment” pieces  that will last several seasons and not go out of style

Acting chicly

– Don’t swear. (After years and years working in an newsroom, this was actually a habit I had to break!)

– Have impeccable posture.

– Maintain your mystique. Keep secrets. Maintain your privacy. Don’t elaborate when you respond with a “thank you” to a compliment.

– Think before you speak and act.

– Express your passion.

– Speak less about yourself, but always have interesting tidbits to add to a conversation by keeping abreast of current issues (this may be from the fabulous book Entre Nous). Share information about books, films, recipes, school, national and community issues more than you share about yourself. (It’s so boring to talk about yourself anyway!) There is a quote my mother once told me: Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

Living frugally and chicly

– Eliminate debt

– Only spend what you can afford

– Spend money on experiences not things

– Save for what you want

– Think long and hard before bringing something new into your house

Miscellaneous

– Study art, architecture, cuisine, clothing, literature, music, chess, film, photography, languages.

– Take time. Don’t rush or multitask

– Read voraciously

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” 

– Sophia Loren

I knew a girl once who was stunning, just gorgeous, but did not know it. And even though her features were worthy of a magazine cover, her poor posture, her sloppy clothes and her slacker attitude detracted from her beauty, so that after awhile of being around her, you didn’t really think she was beautiful anymore. I used to say, if she thought she was half as beautiful as she is, she would be twice as beautiful as she is.

 Confidence is alluring.

 In my lifelong pursuit of la bella figura, I am inspired by words of wisdom from others. Here’s a few tidbits, taken from Nina Garcia’s book “The Little Black Book of Style.”:

“. . . But when a confident woman walks into a room, it is entrancing. I’ll watch as she moves with poise and self-possession. She is not usually the one in the plain black dress. She is the one in the interesting shirt and the vintage skirt, and I immediately want to know where she got them. And she may not be the most stunningly gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, but she has a way about her that can make her one of the most intriguing. Confidence is captivating, it is powerful, and it does not fade — and that is endlessly more interesting than beauty.”

 Intelligence is alluring.

“I’ve always found that the women with amazing personal style are powerful, intriguing, and yes, even intelligent. Very intelligent. They know who they are and what they want to project upon the world. These women undertand that what they put on in the morning is the first thing people notice about them. It tells the world a bit of their story. And, more important, their clothes affect how they feel about themselves throughout the day.”

Uniqueness is alluring.

“A stylish woman makes me want to walk up to her and say “Where did you get that?” It is not in any magazine or on any runway I have seen, and I just have to find out where it is from. A flea market, her grandmother’s closet, wherever. I just know that I have not seen it before, which is the most intriguing thing in the world. All of the great style icons achieved this aura of intrigue.”

Garcia says that a style icon knows:

• How to edit. She only buys what she likes and what looks good on her.  (Garcia says your closet should only contain amazing choices)
•  To invest in “the bones” . . . and builds from there. (Garcia’s 10 staples: the LBD, a classic men’s white shirt, cashmere cardigan or turtleneck, a trench coat, denim, a man’s classic watch, diamonds, ballet flats, a classic high-heel pump and a great bag)
• To buy with drama. She goes for that over-the-top, decadent item. If she falls in love, she takes it home.  (“Buy what is truly fantastic. The leopard-print coat, the knock-them-dead dress, the decadent piece of jewelry … you know one when you see one. You fall in love with it immediately … you know you look good in it, everyone else knows you look good in it, and it is going to make you feel amazing … but buy timeless items … make sure you can see yourself wearing it a few seasons later … also consider if it reflects your personal style. It’s like falling in love and going on that first date. You just know.”) Other examples she gives, a cuff, they are always chic and sophisticated; killer shoes (high-heeled strappy sandals in metallic gold or silver); a stand-out coat; a knock-em-dead evening or cocktail dress (you just need one. invest the money in something truly amazing. A hand-beaded dress, a vintage forties dress, a dress that fits you perfectly. It may take you years to comb through sample sales, but find that dress.”
• The utmost importance of shoes. Lots of shoes. (Garcia says invest in a good pair of shoes. “Even if it’s only one pair .. spend wisely here, because it really matters.” She recommends Manolo Blahnik as the sexiest and safest investment (a sure thing); Christian Louboutin, Roger Vivier, Jimmy Choo or Azzedine Alai. She also says only show two cracks of toe cleavage, no more.)
• And the power of accessories. Done just the right way  (“Jackie O and her sunglasses. Audrey Hepburn and her scarf. Elizabeth Taylor and her diamonds … should choose her accessories as she chooses her friends, seeking out the ones that complement who she is, let her have fun, make her feel confident when she walks down the street, and stick by her through her ups and downs, her men, and her extra pounds. Because your accessories, like your friends, tell the world who you are. The key to accessorizing is to keep it personal and to keep it tasteful. To make it personal, wear something that means something to you: Grandmother’s old cross pendant or an antique watch or a bracelet from Mexico. “)
• A good tail0r.  (“A good tailor is like a good pair of shoes — necessary, worth every penny and capable of making you look ten pounds thinner… a good tailor can make any piece of clothing look expensive … fit clothes to your body without changing the look or shape … make anything you want .. if you have an amazing imagination and an amazing tailor, you can have him make that one perfect item that you want.”)
• How not to be the fashion victim. She never buys into the trends and she never carries the “it” bag.  (self explanatory, I think)
• It is not about the money. She wears her flea market Mexican earrings the same way she would wear her diamonds.(Fashion is expensive. Style is not. Some of the most stylish girls I know are certainly not the wealthiest. Ironically, it is often the girls with less money who seem to understand style the best … Garcia recommends: White Hanes t-shirts; L.L. Bean tote; a white button-up; khaki pants, flea-market finds; anything H&M, Target, Uniqlo and vintage steals (cheapest when taken from your mother’s closet).
• How to mix it up. (self explanatory, for instance, mixing couture and Target clothes)
• How to be imperfect. She understands that every day is not a photo shoot. (Garcia calls this the Kate Moss factor, something a bit off, hair messy, accessories not matching, shirt rumpled, but looking amazing.)

And that is style.

“Their suits, their shirts, their ties, their shoes, their haircuts, even their fingernails were all beyond perfection … bella figura … no American businessman without Italian blood would lavish the time, money and attention that were necessary to look the way they did. To present a bella figura to the world, no matter what was going on inside, was an Italian tradition that reached from the nobility to the peasants.” — Judith Krantz writing in The Lovers. 

La bella figura roughly translated means cutting a beautiful figure, an Italian philosophy that means putting careful thought into the face you present to the world by taking pride in one’s appearance from shiny, clean hair to real jewelry and freshly polished shoes.

To Italians, “presenting yourself well in thought, word and deed is a matter of personal dignity,” writes Raeleen D’Agostino Mautner in “Living La Dolce Vita.”

“The foreign visitor to Italy is typically amazed to observe how polished the men and women of the bel paese look, how good they appear to feel about themselves, and how graciously they interact with one another. Italian life is undeniable lived with a constant eye toward aesthetic beauty, dignity and civility. Learning to enhance the body and mind one is born with is more important than having been endowed with genetic perfection,” she writes.

To me, the Italian philosophy of La Bella Figura essentially boils down to always putting your best foot forward, not only physically but in everyway you present yourself to the world.

Stylewise,  it doesn’t mean spending thousands of dollars on clothing, makeup and jewelry. What it does mean to me is being selective, purchasing timeless, classic styles and choosing quality over quantity.It is philosophy that “less is more” – a belief not very common in the American consumer society. But in some European countries that we admire for the pleasure they take in creating a quality life, it is par for the course.

In the style bible, Simple Isn’t Easy, by Olivia Goldsmith and Amy Fine Collins, a famous French architect is quoted saying “American closets shock me. So much, too much. No one can dress well with so many clothes.”

In the same book, shoe designer Manolo Blahnik is quoted saying “It is a question of selection, to choose less. That is something Americans do not understand. They think that more is better.”

 So, yes, I may own a gorgeous purse, but it’s one of only two purses in my closet.Again: it’s a question of choosing less not more. For me less is more means I would rather scrimp and save my money to buy a beautifully cut pairs of jeans that flatter me and will give me years of wear.And sure living this way most likely means delaying instant gratification.

Saving money to buy what you want is not something we are used to in these days of instant credit, mass mailing of credit card approvals and the ability to purchase almost anything we might desire online in the privacy of our own home.What it will mean is an increased satisfaction and appreciation for the things we do own and the desire to care for them so they will last and give us as much pleasure for as long as possible.