I don’t know if it is my nature or my training as a journalist, but I tend to cast a critical eye on most advertising claims. And yet, I found myself sucked in by an Avon commercial for a night cream. Then when my neighbor left her Avon catalog package on my doorstep, I took another look at it.

But then I started researching reviews online and decided — not that it didn’t work or was terrible — but that it didn’t fit with my current skin care routine, which works 99 percent of the time.

I use the three-step Proactiv system. I don’t care for any of the other Proactiv products. Probably the most valuable of the three is the renewing lotion — the third step that fights the acne and is not just part of the cleansing routine. I realized this when I tried to do without that third step this spring and had constant breakouts that went deep and were painful! Once I reintroduced the third component — my skin was back to normal.

I only use Proactiv at night. (In the morning I just wash my face with water and a washcloth andthen  lather it in Neutrogena sunscreen). At night, before the Proactiv, I use a generic version of Cetaphil to remove my eye makeup.

At night, after I use the Proactiv, I apply my most valuable skin care product — a prescription Trentinoin cream.

While I was searching around about Avon, I came across this Mayo Clinic article which explains why my skin care routine works for me and might provide some information to help you decide what products to buy if you are looking:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/wrinkle-creams/SN00010

Wrinkle creams: Your guide to younger looking skin

Do over-the-counter wrinkle creams really reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles? The answer depends on many factors.

By Mayo Clinic staff

Many wrinkle creams and lotions sold in department stores, in drugstores and on the Internet promise to reduce wrinkles and prevent or reverse damage caused by the sun.

Do they work? Research suggests that some wrinkle creams contain ingredients that may improve wrinkles. But many of these ingredients haven’t undergone scientific research to prove this benefit.

If you’re looking for a face-lift in a bottle, you probably won’t find it in over-the-counter (nonprescription) wrinkle creams. But they may slightly improve the appearance of your skin, depending on how long you use the product and the amount and type of the active ingredient in the wrinkle cream.

Common ingredients in anti-wrinkle creams

The effectiveness of anti-wrinkle creams depends in part on the active ingredient or ingredients. Here are some common ingredients that may result in slight to modest improvements in wrinkles.

• Retinol. Retinol is a vitamin A compound and is the first antioxidant to be widely used in nonprescription wrinkle creams. Antioxidants are substances that neutralize free radicals — unstable oxygen molecules that break down skin cells and cause wrinkles. Retinol is less potent than the vitamin A derivative tretinoin, a topical treatment approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treating wrinkles. Tretinoin is available only by prescription. Avoid vitamin A derivatives if you are pregnant or may become pregnant because they increase the risk of birth defects.
• Hydroxy acids. Alpha hydroxy acids, beta hydroxy acids and poly hydroxy acids are all synthetic versions of acids derived from sugar-containing fruits. These acids are exfoliants — substances that remove the upper layer of old, dead skin and stimulate the growth of smooth, evenly pigmented new skin. Because hydroxy acids increase your susceptibility to sun damage, always wear sunscreen during use and for at least one week afterward.
• Coenzyme Q10. Coenzyme Q10 is a nutrient that helps regulate energy production in cells. Some studies have shown reduction in fine wrinkles around the eyes with no side effects. Other studies show that application before sun exposure protects against sun damage.
• Copper peptides. Copper is a trace element found in every cell. In products applied to the skin, it’s combined with small protein fragments called peptides. Copper peptides enhance wound healing. They also stimulate production of collagen and may enhance the action of antioxidants.
• Kinetin. A plant growth factor, kinetin may improve wrinkles and uneven pigmentation with minimal irritation. It’s unclear how it works, but it may help reduce wrinkles by helping skin retain moisture and by stimulating the production of collagen. It may also be a potent antioxidant.
• Tea extracts. Green, black and oolong tea contain compounds with antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. Green tea extracts are the ones most commonly found in wrinkle creams.

continued:

The FDA classifies creams and lotions as cosmetics, which are defined as having no medical value. So the FDA regulates them less strictly than it does drugs. This means that products don’t need to undergo rigorous testing for safety and effectiveness before approval to go on the market.

The FDA does step in, however, when advertisements portray cosmetics as drugs or when cosmetics contain ingredients that may pose a potential health hazard to consumers. For example, in 2002, the FDA ordered manufacturers of products containing alpha hydroxy acids to include a warning label stating that the acids may increase the risk of sunburn.

Because the FDA doesn’t evaluate cosmetic products for effectiveness, there’s no guarantee that any over-the-counter product will reduce your wrinkles.

Consider these points when judging the merits of using a wrinkle cream:

• Lower doses. Nonprescription wrinkle creams contain lower concentrations of active ingredients than do prescription creams. So results, if any, are limited and usually short-lived.
• Latest research. Research suggests that certain ingredients may improve wrinkles. However, most anti-wrinkle creams haven’t been subjected to the comprehensive, objective research required to prove this benefit.
• Cost. Cost has no relationship to effectiveness. Just because a wrinkle cream is more costly, may not mean that it’s more effective than a less-costly product.
• Daily use. You’ll likely need to use the wrinkle cream once or twice a day for many weeks before noticing any improvements. And once you discontinue using the product, your skin may return to its original appearance.
• Side effects. Some products may cause skin irritation, rashes, burning or redness. Be sure to read and follow the product instructions to limit possible side effects.

Your anti-wrinkle regimen

An anti-wrinkle cream may lessen the appearance of your wrinkles, depending on how often you use it, the type and amount of active ingredient in the wrinkle cream, and the extent of the wrinkles you want to treat.

But if you want to take the guesswork out of your skin-care regimen, try these more reliable ways to improve and maintain your skin’s youthful appearance.

• Protect your skin from the sun. Exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light speeds up the natural aging process of your skin, causing wrinkles and rough, blotchy skin. In fact, sun exposure is the No. 1 reason for aging signs in the skin, including uneven pigmentation. Protect your skin — and prevent future wrinkles — by limiting the time you spend in the sun and always wearing protective clothing and hats. Also, use sunscreen when outdoors, even in winter.
• Choose products with built-in sunscreen. When selecting skin-care products, choose those with a built-in sun protection factor (SPF) of at least 15. Also, be sure to select products that block both UVA and UVB rays.
• Use moisturizers. Dry skin turns plump skin cells into shriveled ones, creating fine lines and wrinkles long before you’re due. Though moisturizers can’t prevent wrinkles, they can temporarily mask tiny lines and creases.
• Don’t smoke. Smoking causes narrowing of the blood vessels in the outermost layers of your skin. It also damages collagen and elastin — fibers that give your skin its strength and elasticity. As a result, skin begins to sag and wrinkle prematurely.

If you’re concerned about the appearance of your skin, see your dermatologist. He or she can help you create a personalized skin-care plan by assessing your skin type, evaluating your skin’s condition and recommending products likely to be effective. If you’re looking for more dramatic results, a dermatologist can recommend medical treatments for wrinkles, including prescription creams, botulinum toxin (Botox) injections or skin resurfacing techniques.

* Note:I know Isabella is smoking which goes against this advice and I dont’ smoke (anymore) but I had to use this picture because she is just so incredibly beautiful.

I just wanted to say a special thank you to the women who participated in the Chic Friends posting. Let me tell you, it takes some courage to have your picture posted online. It took me months to show my face on this blog. I kept hiding it behind the camera …. So a big thank you to all those women, especially those who have never had their photos posted on a blog before. They all have different looks and styles, but I know you will agree that they are all beautiful and chic! I know I learned so much from their style advice and insight and hope you did too.

In a few months, I’m going to have a second round of this post and hope others will want to join in next time.

Anyway, thanks again all you lovely ladies!

I have been mulling this idea for a while and hope people will participate.

I feel so lucky to have such a chic group of women who read my blog and just like many of you are curious about my wardrobe, I am also curious about yours. And I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I would love to ask you to send me photos of your favorite go-to outfit for me to post on my blog for a special guest posting. You know, the outfit you always feel good in and that never lets you down.

Or maybe it is an outfit you are refining and would like some advice from readers about …. For instance, maybe you have a new skirt and are trying out ways to wear it and looking for feedback … whatever … just let me know when you send in the photo. I’m hoping to get photos by the end of next week if there is interest.

I know Aaonce is in so I will definitely do a posting with her, maybe with an interview about style if she’ll go for it : )

If you are interested please email me at mammaitaliana23@gmail.com.

Please don’t be shy! I am really excited about this idea and hope readers and other bloggers participate …

Marsi, DC, Tine, Nancy, Phyllis, Stephanie, Fiona, Lillian, Beth, La, Patricia, Tish, Jade, Jeanne, Liz, Jean, Andi, Cherie,  — just to name a few of the regular readers I love to hear from!!!!!!

Actually A from My French Corner is off the hook, but everyone else … PLEASE, please consider it!

Thanks!

K

A very Italian and la bella figura philosophy is to care for your belongings. Taking care of what you own shows respect for yourself, respect for your belongings and respect for the planet.

The classic example is the Italian man or woman who drives the older vehicle and spends weekends polishing it and caring for it so it always looks like new.

It is also about keeping those old shoes polished and your clothes ironed and your house spotless (I have a problem with this last one, especially with two small kids).

It is about meticulously cleaning your appliances, such as your blender, after each use.

It is taking care of everything you own so it will serve you well and last for years.

It isn’t about tossing something that is broken or needs to be repaired unless it is a hopeless case. It is about trying not to buy anything that is “disposable” that is meant to have a short life and then meant to be tossed.

Instead of discarding what you own so readily, try to figure out if you can fix something that is broken or find a new use for an item before you pass it on. I am trying to do this.

There is a fine balance between decluttering and using what you have until it no longer gives you use. I think the differences is that if you own an item, such as a toaster that works and serves your purposes but maybe isn’t the exact model or color you like — use it as long as you can before you replace it.

The idea is to not replace useful items so readily … use what you can as long as you can.

For instance, I am not overly thrilled with my winter coat, but by taking off the belt and the belt loops, I am much happier with the way it fits. With the waist belted, it looked sloppy, bulky and not chic in the least bit.  When one of the loops for the belt broke off, I decide to tug on the other one and become belt free. the only problem is I ended up with two big rips in the sides of my wool coat. Then a button came off.

Because it is wool and an expensive clothing item, my immediate thought was to take it to the tailor for repairs. I kept waiting to have enough extra money to do this. Didn’t happen. So I sat down with a needle and thread and repaired it myself. It was actually easier than I thought. The stitches aren’t great, but my repair work does not show.

Then I took my beloved trench coat and reinforced the beautiful wooden flower buttons on it. I was upset last spring when I lost one of the buttons on it. I found it crushed by a tire on the street. Luckily, I could pull off an unseen button under the collar and use that. But that was the only button left that doesn’t show, so I need to make sure I don’t lose any more.

This photograph by Pamela Hanson http://www.pamelahanson.com/fashion   has always captured my fantasty of living in a European city in my small apartment overlooking a bustling boulevard.

For some reason I imagine this is a very small apartment, maybe even a studio apartment where this woman lives.  It just appeals to my love of small homes, small apartments, few possessions, but ones that are meaningful.

One thing I have always loved about Europeans (at least the ones I have known personally) is that they were all so nonmaterialistic.

It wasn’t about buying, buying, buying. It was about living.

For them, life wasn’t about having things. Life was about having experiences.

I have tried to embrace this in my own life.

I remember reading in Entre Nous, how French women “make do” with their clothing, their belongings, even their husbands — not trying to change them to meet their expectations.

I like to remember this philosophy of making do when I cook — using up the ingredients I already have in my cupboards and refrigerator; when I “shop” my closet — working with the clothes I have instead of believing I need more of them; with my belongings — for instance, I will place one pot ontop of another for a voila! instant double boiler instead of thinking I need to go buy a new kitchen accoutrement.

I am trying to live my life this way and hopefully get out of debt and then only spend my money on things like books, movies, language classes, cashmere sweaters, wine, good food, piano lessons for my kids, etc.

It began when I was not even 20 and I was in a very unhealthy, scary relationship that was complicated and difficult to get out of. I looked around at an apartment full of stuff that was owned by both of us. I felt trapped. That is an understatement. I felt underwater, overwhelmed and helpless.

So I began packing boxes — for him.

I threw everything in that apartment into his boxes and walked out of there with my clothes and a boxspring.

I was free. I was free of him. I was free of all the “stuff’ and belongings that trapped me.

Good for me. Except what I brought with me was a neurosis about owning things. If I began to accumulate too many belongings, I started to feel trapped again.

One of the best experiences in my life was when I backpacked through Europe for two months. I carried everything I needed to live for 2 months on my back. I didn’t buy souveneirs — I took pictures. It was a wonderful time in my life. I was free as a bird, so to speak.

But that was not real life. In real life I had more than what fit on my back. I would move from one college apartment to another with what would fit in my small hatchback. I had discarded the boxspring early on and had a small, twin roll up futon mattress that rolled up in the back of my car.

I think I lived like this for another 15 years as I moved from apartment to apartment in L.A., then Seattle, then Monterey, then Oakland.

Then I got pregnant. For some reason this allowed me to relax a little. I didn’t feel like I had to be ready to run at any second. I didn’t feel trapped by my belongings anymore. Well, maybe a little.

Now, what I do, is I declutter. I only keep what I love and find useful. But I still know deep inside me there is the desire to own nothing and to be able to leave in a heartbeat.

I love those exercises where you look at your belongings and have to decide what to take if you have 20 minutes to pack before a fire consumes your house. Because there is always a mental list in my head.

So yes I am a minimalist in the good sense where I would rather be on my deathbed and remember all the “experiences” I had instead of the things I owned, but I also am a minimalist in the bad sense, where I fight within myself to be able to live a life where “stuff” doesn’t own me, I own it and it doesn’t take up space in my thoughts — it just is.

Sunday:

Outfit:

Black dress (H&M) thrifted

Navy cashmere cardigan

Black Boots (Naturalizer) thrifted

Vintage amethyst pendant necklace

Menu:

Breakfast: small dish whole milk plain yogurt with blueberries: cafe au lait

Lunch: pulled pork sandwich; mashed potatoes; green salad; wine

Dinner: 1/4 stuffed zucchini; baked beets

Finances:

$90 at market

Saturday

Outfit:

Black crochet bodice tee (Marshalls)

Levis

Black bead necklace looped three times (Target)

Black sandals (Lauren by Ralph Lauren) thrifted

* by noon, I had to thrown on a navy blue cashmere cardigan to ward off the chill

Menu:

Breakfast: two slices of toast with butter; cafe au lait

Lunch: two slices of bread sprinkled with olive oil, topped with slices of homegrown tomatoes, parmesan cheese slices; one ear of corn

Dinner: one pork chop broiled; romaine salad with avocado, baked beets with butter; wine

Finances:

$0

Outfit

Teal tee (J.Crew)

Levis

Turquoise/pink/aqua scarf (Target)

Turquoise sandals (Target)

Menu:

Breakfast: small dish whole milk plain yogurt with blueberries on top; cafe au lait

Lunch: leftover sausage and white bean cassoulet; carrots

Dinner: BLT; wine

Finances:

$3 latte at coffee shop

 Beauty is in the attitude?

 I was just reading an interesting post by one of my favorite bloggers, Observations of an Irish Girl in Boston (see link to right under friends) and was thinking about the idea of how a lot of our beauty stems from attitude. And how sometimes people may react to our self confidence as much as to our appearance.

Several years ago I knew a stunningly beautiful young woman in her early 20s. She didn’t wear a bit of makeup, dressed in sloppy clothes and could have graced the cover of any magazine around the world. But she had terrible posture, lay around smoking pot and eating fast food all the time. She was also very insecure and had a silly personality (in my eyes it appeared she was determined to be viewed as an “air head”).

I used to always say that if she believed she were half as beautiful as she was,  she would be twice as beautiful as she was.

We’ve all seen her (and the French woman is archetypal here, isn’t she?) the woman who may not be traditionally beautiful  but nonetheless is striking, stunning, gorgeous. There is so much to be said about how we carry ourselves, our posture, our self confidence, our belief in our worth/value.

I can’t believe I am admitting this in print, but I used to do “experiments” when I was younger, single and lived in Los Angeles. They would work like this: I would “put on” an attitude that I was AMAZING LOOKING and walk through a crowd at a nightclub, gauging the reactions. I tell you what — there were dozens of WAY PRETTIER girls than me in that room, but when I acted like I was TRULY AMAZING  and walked by people, heads turned and men approached me constantly. 

On the flip side, if I didn’t PROJECT this self confidence, it was often a lonely night at the club, watching other people dance., flirt and have fun.

Sometimes when I feel insecure in an awkward situation I try to emulate a woman I met through my French friend. This other French woman just projected the most self-confident nonchalance I have ever seen. I’ll never forget her attitude one day at the park talking on her cell phone. It wasn’t what she was saying (I was across the park) it was her posture, her gestures, her movements. She was so striking.

Outfit:

Turquoise tee (J Crew)

Levis

Turquoise sandals (Target)

Mexican silver vintage choker

Menu:

Breakfast: onion bagel with cream cheese; cafe au lait

Lunch: leftover bowl of Greek salad; radishes with salty butter; 1/2 bagel with cream cheese and tomato slices; coffee

Dinner: scrambled eggs with salsa, fresh bread toasted; wine

Dessert: blueberry dumpling (Check out the recipe on Eurochic’s blog — link is under friends). Delicious.

Finances:

$0

What is chic/ladylike behavior?

When I was working at the college newspaper, my women friends there cringed at being called “Ladies” because it implied there were expectations on how they should act and that it might stifle what they wanted to accomplish. I think, at the time, it was a loaded word. For years I also wanted to be called a “woman” instead of “lady” because of this reason.

But now? Frankly, I don’t care. I really don’t think it labels me to be called a lady or have ladylike behavior. In fact, this stereotypical behavior is now something I strive for. After years of being in a newsroom where you could slam down the phone, stand up and let loose a stream of profanities at the top of your lungs without anyone even looking your way, I have embraced “feminine” behavior and relish being a lady. I like to dress nice, I don’t swear and I try to be as much a woman as I can.

I realized this last weekend when I went to a friend’s house around noon to watch a movie. We put all the children  in the basement with a kid movie and then drank beer and watched “Taken” upstairs. One of the women who showed up, who is as nice as can be, really struck me with her behavior. I had only met her briefly at soccer games and thought she was very nice and actually well-put together, but after Saturday my opinion changed somewhat.

When I first got to the house I noticed she had wet hair, no makeup and was wearing shorts and a big baggy t-shirt. She explained her wet hair by saying she had already been at my friend’s house but had been wearing her pajamas and when she heard more people were coming she rushed home (next door) to take a shower and change.

As I write this I’m trying to figure out the point of it and I guess I was surprised that she didn’t take the time to get herself ready for the day and just wandered over to the neighbors in pajamas but then felt “more ready” when she showed up in sloppy clothes, wet hair and no makeup. I was just a little baffled by it.  I kept thinking of a passage in the book “French Women Don’t Sleep Alone”:

“I couldn’t understand why the women seemed to get more dressed up on weekends when they took their children to the park. Why did they wear a skirt and high heels? French women take even more care to look good on weekends because their husbands are home and the streets are filled with men enjoying their day off. If you are married and want him to focus more on you — what better way to show him that you are a woman of the world, stylish and well-groomed and other men are taking notice of you.”

Then, while we were watching the movie this woman let out a gigantic burp — in front of all the other people there and said, “Excuse me. We have a policy in my house that burping and farting are allowed as long as you warn people if it is going to smell.”

Not chic. I just couldn’t help but wonder — does her husband like this? Is this considered attractive to the other men in the room? I’m all for being able to let loose and act comfortable and be casual, but most definitely not in this way.

Note: When I told my Italian-American friend about this, she said her response would have been “You’re not in your house.”