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BIG THANK YOU!

February 28th, 2010 Kristi 4 comments

I just wanted to say a special thank you to the women who participated in the Chic Friends posting. Let me tell you, it takes some courage to have your picture posted online. It took me months to show my face on this blog. I kept hiding it behind the camera …. So a big thank you to all those women, especially those who have never had their photos posted on a blog before. They all have different looks and styles, but I know you will agree that they are all beautiful and chic! I know I learned so much from their style advice and insight and hope you did too.

In a few months, I’m going to have a second round of this post and hope others will want to join in next time.

Anyway, thanks again all you lovely ladies!

Chic Friends

February 25th, 2010 Kristi 14 comments

 
 
 
 This has got to be my all-time favorite post since I began blogging last year. I feel so lucky to have all these chic women as readers of my blog. I constantly benefit from their lazer sharp insight into style and wardrobe issues, not to mention other advice in general and now I can share their tips with you. Enjoy! I know I sure did. Thank you so much for participating everyone!  PS You can find the links to all the people who are also bloggers on the right hand side under “inspiration.”
 

 

 
 
 AAONCE —————————————————————————————————————————–

Aaonce

 

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

I don’t really have a “go to” outfit, but I do have a capsule wardrobe and each piece represented in this picture (as well as other items in my closet) are kept because they are reliable. I wear a lot of black, and I love playing with textures. This outfit is composed of a leather pencil skirt, a black corduroy jacket (with grosgrain ribbon around the edges), cashmere crew neck blouse, a multi-strand pearl necklace, wool hat (It is cold outside), textured tights (difficult to see in this picture) and tall leather black boots.

What one item in your closet could you not live without?

I know that this is kind of cheating, but really I can’t live without my accessories. I have a pretty restrictive color palette (mostly black, navy and gray) so handbags, scarves, shoes/boots, jewelry and the like are called upon to give each outfit some pizzazz and/or color. If I had to choose ONE thing, this week I am totally loving my black leather tall boots by Diane Von Furstenberg, they seem to give a little spice to everything from jeans to pencil skirts.

What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

Dramatic/Classic? My aesthetic requires everything I own to be classic, but also have that little something extra that makes it stand out (although for me standing out is done in more of a whisper than a roar).

 Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

I am inspired by the world around me, people I know/meet, and things I read (blogs and magazines included in that list). I don’t have a style icon, but I know what I like, what works for me, and how I want to present myself.

What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

Style encompasses a lot of things: your personality, your past/present/future (and what you want to reveal about those things) and of course, what you actually like (your taste). I think magazines, books and  blogs are great guides in helping you express who you are, but that is all they are-guides. Style is innately personal, its your expression. Friends can give a thumbs up or down on the execution of an outfit, but they can’t help you find your “voice” and that voice is the basis of any style. My advice is get to know yourself first, and then dress to express that. Style isn’t about wearing certain clothing items. It is only an expression of who you are.

NANCY from Life is Sweet ——————————————————————————————————-

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

Pairing a good quality tee, with a great fitting pair of jeans is a simple, easy look and is very easy to dress up or down. Or you can add a great scarf, or interesting jewelry, or a blazer, vest, or sweater. AND it’s oh-so comfortable!

What one item in your closet could you not live without?

anything with 3/4 sleeves – 3/4 sleeves are not only classicly chic, they are also universally flattering on every body type.

 What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

 ”CCC – classic casual chic”

 Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

the classic icons like coco, jackie, Vogue

 What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

Educate yourself about your body type, what colors work well for you (fashion, hair, makeup), age-appropriateness of fashion choices, image/body concerns, etc. If you feel overwhelmed by all these choices, find a good image / fashion consultant to help you – it will be money saved in the long run. And lastly, project confidence – that’s the most important ’style’ tip I can give anyone.

JENNIFER from The Daily Connoisseur ————————————————————————————

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

 I am in my second trimester of pregnancy so I need clothes that are both comfortable and fashionable- with room to grow!  I love the combination of a tunic and leggings (both by A Pea in the Pod) because I can move throughout my day with ease.  Ditto for my grey patent leather ballet flats (by London Sole).  These shoes are so comfortable and support my aching back.

 What one item in your closet could you not live without?

 My black velvet blazer by J. Crew

 What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

 Classic and minimalistic

 Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

 Marion Cotillard and Penelope Cruz- Those ladies wear their clothes sooooo well…

 What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

 Keep it simple- don’t dress to impress anyone but yourself.  (But having said that, you yourself should have incredibly high standards ;)

Patricia———————————————————————————————————————————

 

 

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

The reason I chose this outfit is it’s versatility.

I bought it for a casual New Years Eve party this year.

I am partial to little black dresses and have several of different styles. This one is different in that it is black and white. The top is a little sheer so it gives it a little dash of something. I like the way it hangs…flouncy under my knee, which is a very nice style on me.

The dress can be worn all seasons and dressed up or down with a sweater or pashima and different shoes or even boots, and either nude or black hose.

What one item in your closet could you not live without?

The item in my closet I could not live without is my black pencil skirt. I can wear it anywhere, anytime, with anything!

What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

I would describe my style as classic elegant feminine.

Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

My style icon/fashion inspiration is Mrs. Herrera (the mother) and Grace Kelly. Mrs. Herrera was always feminine and elegant, as was Princess Grace.

What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

For others who are looking to find their own style, I would suggest paying attention to what you’ve gravitated toward in your formulative years. Practically since the day I was born I was feminine and meticulous. Although in my teen years and 20s I dressed more utilitarian, my mid-life epiphany brought me back to my inner self.

TINE from The Red Geranium————————————————————————————————–

Tine

 

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

I picked this outfit because I wanted to be comfortable and warm, yet also chic.  I wore this when my boyfriend and I went up to his family’s beach house in New Hampshire for a weekend getaway.  It was chilly up north which is why I chose the knit grey sweater, but I still wanted to look chic so I wore it with skinny jeans and mid-calf black flat boots.  It was a gorgeous sunny weekend, so I had to add the over sized sunglasses too!

 What one item in your closet could you not live without?

This is a tough question!! I think for the fall/winter my must-have item would be my Dolce Vita black leather knee high boots with a 3″ stacked heed.  These totally can transform an outfit and they go great with tights and a skirt or over skinny jeans.  I even can wear them to work.

What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

 Classic, yet chic.

Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

Audrey Hepburn and Ashley Olsen

What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

You need to be 100% comfortable in your skin AND your clothes.  If I wear something that I’m not comfortable with, I feel “off” all day.  If you are interested in a certain trend or style, but are not sure how it will suit you, start off slow and find how you can make it work for you.  For example, I love skinny jeans, but I am much more confident and comfortable wearing them with knee high boots and a chunky sweater than with a tight shirt and ballet flats. 

PHYLLIS  from Phyllis Bourne, romance author————————————————————————-

   

Phyllis

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

I spotted this outfit on a display in Nordstrom and immediately fell in love with it.   At the time, brown was my least favorite color.  It’s hard to explain, but it just looked and felt like me. 

I wear it in situations where I know I have to be “on”.  It never fails to give me a little confidence boost.

What one item in your closet could you not live without?

White Target Merona Ultimate V-neck t-shirt

What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

Creative, conservative

Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

Sade.  Her style: red lipstick, hoop earrings, low ponytail and understated clothes haven’t changed in over twenty-five years.   Yet, she looks timeless, ageless and always on point.

Essence magazine did a special double cover on her back March 2001.  On the front of the magazine was a then-recent shot of her in 2001, and the back cover featured a 1984 shot.  She looked exactly the same. 

Her new album was released this month.  It’s nearly March 2010, and she still looks likes she hasn’t aged a day since 1984.

What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

 Don’t be afraid to experiment with clothes, make-up and accessories.

Cherie from Renaissance Garden————————————————————————————————

Cherie

 

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

I have on an Ann Taylor sweater, black slacks, black ankle boots with kitten heels, and large hoop earrings in bronze.  I typically wear this type of outfit to church, and casual lunches or meetings.

What one item in your closet could you not live without? 

My black slacks.  They go with almost everything and fit into my casual lifestyle.
What one or two words would you use to describe your style? 

Feminine classic.  I like clean lines, solid colors, with a little bit of a feminine flourish.

Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

I would say the usual, Audry Hepburn, Grace Kelly.  More modern would be Jennifer Anniston, Diane Lane.
What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style? 

I think it’s important to be comfortable in the clothes you wear.  In the past I would buy items that were considered “classic,” things “every woman should own,” such as white button-down shirts.  I finally realized those kind of classics don’t work on me.  I’ve also learned to skip most trendy items.

Beth ————————————————————————————————————————————–

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

 This is a typical winter work outfit for me.  It’s cold in eastern Washington!  But the temperature in my office can fluctuate, so layers are important.  You can’t see the fishnet hose or the light herringbone pattern on the skirt but I like to add varieties of subtle patterns or textures.

 What one item in your closet could you not live without?

 A black boatneck t-shirt exactly like the white one in the photo.  Perfect length, not clingy, perfect fabric weight.  Also, for the summer, a tan full skirt with embroidered white polka dots.  Classic but not plain — I love to wear it with a navy/white striped nautical t-shirt.

What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

 Classic separates, ease of care AND wear, always a scarf.

 Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

 Lauren Hutton and Lauren Graham – they are different but similar in their quirky treatments of classic pieces and shapes.

 What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

 LISTEN when someone says “I love that on you!” or “What a terrific color!”  But if you love it  – even if no one says it out loud — wear it often and with great affection for the pieces that make you happy.

FIONA from La Vie en Fifi———————————————————————————————————–

  Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it? This outfit is indicative of what I wear every day.  Fitting jeans, high heels or cute flats and something nice on top.  I used to work in an office and wore suits and corporate-ish separates.  Now I work full time in the footwear retail store that my husband and I own.  A lot of what we stock and the customers that shop with us are more casual, not so city.  When going to work I always choose a pair of shoes which are current, so this dictates what I wear a little.

 What one item in your closet could you not live without?

 The perfect pair of jeans

 What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

 I would love to portray ‘relaxed chic’ with my style.

 Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

 People I see through work on a regular basis (whether they are customers or sales representatives), real peoples’ blogs, movies and tv programmes (these are great for seeing ‘everyday’ outfits which are styled up to give inspiration) and personal style books.  Celebrity photos ‘off-duty’ are useful too.

What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

Know what you feel more comfortable in (not just physically either).  For me it’s neutral mid-tone colours, clean lines and simple shapes which are fitting but not too tight.

I heard once ages ago that the colour of your hair, skin and eyes is a good starting point for choosing clothing colours.  My hair is caramel/beige/blonde, eyes are grey/blue and skin tone pale-ish pink/yellow (neutral).  So I often look for these colours to wear and do get compliments on them.

Find celebrities who have the same colouring as you and look at photos of them to see if there is a new colour/colour combination you could try.  I read Jennifer Aniston is a ‘Soft Summer’ like I am so saw she looks good in grey and some greens.  Whenever I wear soft greens my husband compliments me.

Take photos of your outfits in the mirror each day (full-length if possible).  Even if no one else sees them they are very useful.  Keep them all.  It’s only looking back when you have built up a few that you get a clear idea of better outfits than others.  The challenge is to find out why and build on that (proportions, colours, accessories).

Andi from Misadventures with Andi———————————————————————————————

Tell me a little bit about this outfit and why you chose it?

When I am carrying a little extra weight I tend to wear more skirts and dresses than usual.  85% of my clothes are black-gray-white.  I love wearing boots with skirts and dresses in winter, so comfortable.  It is cold in my office, so I always dress in layers or sweaters to keep warm.
What one item in your closet could you not live without?

A gray cashmere scarf/wrap that I bought on sale in Switzerland, I would be devastated without it!  It is warm, it is cool, it is long, it is short, it is wonderful!
What one or two words would you use to describe your style?

Black. Simple. No fuss. Classic.
Who are your style icons/fashion inspirations?

Chanel, Anne Fontaine, Jackie O, Audrey Hepburn
What bit of advice would you like to give others about finding their own style?

When you read magazines tear out the pages of outfits you like and build a little binder.  After awhile, go through the book and I bet you that you will find a pattern in what you like.  Take it with you when you go shopping (or a few pages) and try to find styles that match what you collected, that way you won’t be persuaded to deviate.  For me quality over quantity is key as well.  A few classic pieces that you spend a little more money on in neutral colors will last you far longer than cheaper pieces in trendy colors.  I know it is not possible to always buy expensive clothes, but you would be amazed at what people donate to second-hand shops!

Casting Call!

February 18th, 2010 Kristi 14 comments

 

I have been mulling this idea for a while and hope people will participate.

I feel so lucky to have such a chic group of women who read my blog and just like many of you are curious about my wardrobe, I am also curious about yours. And I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I would love to ask you to send me photos of your favorite go-to outfit for me to post on my blog for a special guest posting. You know, the outfit you always feel good in and that never lets you down.

Or maybe it is an outfit you are refining and would like some advice from readers about …. For instance, maybe you have a new skirt and are trying out ways to wear it and looking for feedback … whatever … just let me know when you send in the photo. I’m hoping to get photos by the end of next week if there is interest.

I know Aaonce is in so I will definitely do a posting with her, maybe with an interview about style if she’ll go for it : )

If you are interested please email me at mammaitaliana23@gmail.com.

Please don’t be shy! I am really excited about this idea and hope readers and other bloggers participate …

Marsi, DC, Tine, Nancy, Phyllis, Stephanie, Fiona, Lillian, Beth, La, Patricia, Tish, Jade, Jeanne, Liz, Jean, Andi, Cherie,  — just to name a few of the regular readers I love to hear from!!!!!!

Actually A from My French Corner is off the hook, but everyone else … PLEASE, please consider it!

Thanks!

K

A La bella figura philosophy

January 7th, 2010 Kristi 7 comments

A very Italian and la bella figura philosophy is to care for your belongings. Taking care of what you own shows respect for yourself, respect for your belongings and respect for the planet.

The classic example is the Italian man or woman who drives the older vehicle and spends weekends polishing it and caring for it so it always looks like new.

It is also about keeping those old shoes polished and your clothes ironed and your house spotless (I have a problem with this last one, especially with two small kids).

It is about meticulously cleaning your appliances, such as your blender, after each use.

It is taking care of everything you own so it will serve you well and last for years.

It isn’t about tossing something that is broken or needs to be repaired unless it is a hopeless case. It is about trying not to buy anything that is “disposable” that is meant to have a short life and then meant to be tossed.

Instead of discarding what you own so readily, try to figure out if you can fix something that is broken or find a new use for an item before you pass it on. I am trying to do this.

There is a fine balance between decluttering and using what you have until it no longer gives you use. I think the differences is that if you own an item, such as a toaster that works and serves your purposes but maybe isn’t the exact model or color you like — use it as long as you can before you replace it.

The idea is to not replace useful items so readily … use what you can as long as you can.

For instance, I am not overly thrilled with my winter coat, but by taking off the belt and the belt loops, I am much happier with the way it fits. With the waist belted, it looked sloppy, bulky and not chic in the least bit.  When one of the loops for the belt broke off, I decide to tug on the other one and become belt free. the only problem is I ended up with two big rips in the sides of my wool coat. Then a button came off.

Because it is wool and an expensive clothing item, my immediate thought was to take it to the tailor for repairs. I kept waiting to have enough extra money to do this. Didn’t happen. So I sat down with a needle and thread and repaired it myself. It was actually easier than I thought. The stitches aren’t great, but my repair work does not show.

Then I took my beloved trench coat and reinforced the beautiful wooden flower buttons on it. I was upset last spring when I lost one of the buttons on it. I found it crushed by a tire on the street. Luckily, I could pull off an unseen button under the collar and use that. But that was the only button left that doesn’t show, so I need to make sure I don’t lose any more.

Making Do

December 28th, 2009 Kristi 7 comments

 

 pamelahanson-bis

This photograph by Pamela Hanson http://www.pamelahanson.com/fashion   has always captured my fantasty of living in a European city in my small apartment overlooking a bustling boulevard.

For some reason I imagine this is a very small apartment, maybe even a studio apartment where this woman lives.  It just appeals to my love of small homes, small apartments, few possessions, but ones that are meaningful.

One thing I have always loved about Europeans (at least the ones I have known personally) is that they were all so nonmaterialistic.

It wasn’t about buying, buying, buying. It was about living.

For them, life wasn’t about having things. Life was about having experiences.

I have tried to embrace this in my own life.

I remember reading in Entre Nous, how French women “make do” with their clothing, their belongings, even their husbands — not trying to change them to meet their expectations.

I like to remember this philosophy of making do when I cook — using up the ingredients I already have in my cupboards and refrigerator; when I “shop” my closet — working with the clothes I have instead of believing I need more of them; with my belongings — for instance, I will place one pot ontop of another for a voila! instant double boiler instead of thinking I need to go buy a new kitchen accoutrement.

I am trying to live my life this way and hopefully get out of debt and then only spend my money on things like books, movies, language classes, cashmere sweaters, wine, good food, piano lessons for my kids, etc.

Minimalism

December 3rd, 2009 Kristi 5 comments

travelclothing

 

It began when I was not even 20 and I was in a very unhealthy, scary relationship that was complicated and difficult to get out of. I looked around at an apartment full of stuff that was owned by both of us. I felt trapped. That is an understatement. I felt underwater, overwhelmed and helpless.

So I began packing boxes — for him.

I threw everything in that apartment into his boxes and walked out of there with my clothes and a boxspring.

I was free. I was free of him. I was free of all the “stuff’ and belongings that trapped me.

Good for me. Except what I brought with me was a neurosis about owning things. If I began to accumulate too many belongings, I started to feel trapped again.

One of the best experiences in my life was when I backpacked through Europe for two months. I carried everything I needed to live for 2 months on my back. I didn’t buy souveneirs — I took pictures. It was a wonderful time in my life. I was free as a bird, so to speak.

But that was not real life. In real life I had more than what fit on my back. I would move from one college apartment to another with what would fit in my small hatchback. I had discarded the boxspring early on and had a small, twin roll up futon mattress that rolled up in the back of my car.

I think I lived like this for another 15 years as I moved from apartment to apartment in L.A., then Seattle, then Monterey, then Oakland.

Then I got pregnant. For some reason this allowed me to relax a little. I didn’t feel like I had to be ready to run at any second. I didn’t feel trapped by my belongings anymore. Well, maybe a little.

Now, what I do, is I declutter. I only keep what I love and find useful. But I still know deep inside me there is the desire to own nothing and to be able to leave in a heartbeat.

I love those exercises where you look at your belongings and have to decide what to take if you have 20 minutes to pack before a fire consumes your house. Because there is always a mental list in my head.

So yes I am a minimalist in the good sense where I would rather be on my deathbed and remember all the “experiences” I had instead of the things I owned, but I also am a minimalist in the bad sense, where I fight within myself to be able to live a life where “stuff” doesn’t own me, I own it and it doesn’t take up space in my thoughts — it just is.

Weekend Aug. 29-30

August 30th, 2009 Kristi No comments

 

 

 

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Sunday:

Outfit:

Black dress (H&M) thrifted

Navy cashmere cardigan

Black Boots (Naturalizer) thrifted

Vintage amethyst pendant necklace

Menu:

Breakfast: small dish whole milk plain yogurt with blueberries: cafe au lait

Lunch: pulled pork sandwich; mashed potatoes; green salad; wine

Dinner: 1/4 stuffed zucchini; baked beets

Finances:

$90 at market

Saturday

015

Outfit:

Black crochet bodice tee (Marshalls)

Levis

Black bead necklace looped three times (Target)

Black sandals (Lauren by Ralph Lauren) thrifted

* by noon, I had to thrown on a navy blue cashmere cardigan to ward off the chill

Menu:

Breakfast: two slices of toast with butter; cafe au lait

Lunch: two slices of bread sprinkled with olive oil, topped with slices of homegrown tomatoes, parmesan cheese slices; one ear of corn

Dinner: one pork chop broiled; romaine salad with avocado, baked beets with butter; wine

Finances:

$0

Aug. 27/Attitude and Nonchalance

August 27th, 2009 Kristi 8 comments

 008

Outfit

Teal tee (J.Crew)

Levis

Turquoise/pink/aqua scarf (Target)

Turquoise sandals (Target)

Menu:

Breakfast: small dish whole milk plain yogurt with blueberries on top; cafe au lait

Lunch: leftover sausage and white bean cassoulet; carrots

Dinner: BLT; wine

Finances:

$3 latte at coffee shop

 Beauty is in the attitude?

 I was just reading an interesting post by one of my favorite bloggers, Observations of an Irish Girl in Boston (see link to right under friends) and was thinking about the idea of how a lot of our beauty stems from attitude. And how sometimes people may react to our self confidence as much as to our appearance.

Several years ago I knew a stunningly beautiful young woman in her early 20s. She didn’t wear a bit of makeup, dressed in sloppy clothes and could have graced the cover of any magazine around the world. But she had terrible posture, lay around smoking pot and eating fast food all the time. She was also very insecure and had a silly personality (in my eyes it appeared she was determined to be viewed as an “air head”).

I used to always say that if she believed she were half as beautiful as she was,  she would be twice as beautiful as she was.

We’ve all seen her (and the French woman is archetypal here, isn’t she?) the woman who may not be traditionally beautiful  but nonetheless is striking, stunning, gorgeous. There is so much to be said about how we carry ourselves, our posture, our self confidence, our belief in our worth/value.

I can’t believe I am admitting this in print, but I used to do “experiments” when I was younger, single and lived in Los Angeles. They would work like this: I would “put on” an attitude that I was AMAZING LOOKING and walk through a crowd at a nightclub, gauging the reactions. I tell you what — there were dozens of WAY PRETTIER girls than me in that room, but when I acted like I was TRULY AMAZING  and walked by people, heads turned and men approached me constantly. 

On the flip side, if I didn’t PROJECT this self confidence, it was often a lonely night at the club, watching other people dance., flirt and have fun.

Sometimes when I feel insecure in an awkward situation I try to emulate a woman I met through my French friend. This other French woman just projected the most self-confident nonchalance I have ever seen. I’ll never forget her attitude one day at the park talking on her cell phone. It wasn’t what she was saying (I was across the park) it was her posture, her gestures, her movements. She was so striking.

I was once in a situation where some acquaintances were treating me very rudely. They had asked me to meet them at their house to help them with some work for an upcoming baby shower. When I arrived — right at the appointed time — they were not home. I waited 20 minutes and then called one on her cell phone. She acted very irritated with me saying they were still at another location and would be home as soon as they could. No apology for keeping me waiting and a very irritated tone.

While I was waiting,  I tried to figure out how I wanted to react to them when they showed up. I really, really wanted to yell at them or even leave before they arrived. Or just pout or be snotty. Because let’s face it, my feelings were also hurt. But I knew this wouldn’t do anything except make me feel worse and more taken advantage of. I also wanted to stay to help because I was friend’s with the recipient of the baby shower.

As I waited in my trenchcoat on their patio deck (I was NOT going to sit in my car looking pathetic!)  I remembered this French woman. I got out my cell phone, assumed her posture and attitude and enjoyed myself so much talking to a friend, that I didn’t even notice when these acquaintances arrived. I think they were a little miffed that I remained on the deck finishing my conversation after they unlocked the door for me to go inside.

I was projecting (and really feeling it now) an attitude of nonchalance, having a blast laughing and enjoying myself and oh, if they were late, I hadn’t even noticed.

 They were so rude that they didn’t even apologize for having me sit outside their house for 30 minutes waiting.

I know in some instances it is worth being assertive and saying something, such as, “I think it was rude of you to ask me to be here at a certain time to help you and then having me wait for 30 minutes. It was also rude of you to not apologize about being late, etc., etc.”

But in this case, it appeared that my nonchalance about their rudeness just served to irritate them even more. As if they were trying to be rude to me and by me not reacting, they lost that battle.

Needless to say, I do not spend time with these people anymore.

But these situations and observations I have made over time just serve to reinforce my belief that your attitude and posture mean more than just about anything — more than your clothes that day, more than your cute new hairstyle or new makeup, more than your fit body — it is your own self confidence, posture and belief in yourself that others really notice.

Chic/ladylike behavior-June 30th

June 30th, 2009 Kristi 10 comments

llabellafigura-6-30-026 

Outfit:

Turquoise tee (J Crew)

Levis

Turquoise sandals (Target)

Mexican silver vintage choker

Menu:

Breakfast: onion bagel with cream cheese; cafe au lait

Lunch: leftover bowl of Greek salad; radishes with salty butter; 1/2 bagel with cream cheese and tomato slices; coffee

Dinner: scrambled eggs with salsa, fresh bread toasted; wine

Dessert: blueberry dumpling (Check out the recipe on Eurochic’s blog — link is under friends). Delicious.

Finances:

$0

What is chic/ladylike behavior?

When I was working at the college newspaper, my women friends there cringed at being called “Ladies” because it implied there were expectations on how they should act and that it might stifle what they wanted to accomplish. I think, at the time, it was a loaded word. For years I also wanted to be called a “woman” instead of “lady” because of this reason.

But now? Frankly, I don’t care. I really don’t think it labels me to be called a lady or have ladylike behavior. In fact, this stereotypical behavior is now something I strive for. After years of being in a newsroom where you could slam down the phone, stand up and let loose a stream of profanities at the top of your lungs without anyone even looking your way, I have embraced “feminine” behavior and relish being a lady. I like to dress nice, I don’t swear and I try to be as much a woman as I can.

I realized this last weekend when I went to a friend’s house around noon to watch a movie. We put all the children  in the basement with a kid movie and then drank beer and watched “Taken” upstairs. One of the women who showed up, who is as nice as can be, really struck me with her behavior. I had only met her briefly at soccer games and thought she was very nice and actually well-put together, but after Saturday my opinion changed somewhat.

When I first got to the house I noticed she had wet hair, no makeup and was wearing shorts and a big baggy t-shirt. She explained her wet hair by saying she had already been at my friend’s house but had been wearing her pajamas and when she heard more people were coming she rushed home (next door) to take a shower and change.

As I write this I’m trying to figure out the point of it and I guess I was surprised that she didn’t take the time to get herself ready for the day and just wandered over to the neighbors in pajamas but then felt “more ready” when she showed up in sloppy clothes, wet hair and no makeup. I was just a little baffled by it.  I kept thinking of a passage in the book “French Women Don’t Sleep Alone”:

“I couldn’t understand why the women seemed to get more dressed up on weekends when they took their children to the park. Why did they wear a skirt and high heels? French women take even more care to look good on weekends because their husbands are home and the streets are filled with men enjoying their day off. If you are married and want him to focus more on you — what better way to show him that you are a woman of the world, stylish and well-groomed and other men are taking notice of you.”

Then, while we were watching the movie this woman let out a gigantic burp — in front of all the other people there and said, “Excuse me. We have a policy in my house that burping and farting are allowed as long as you warn people if it is going to smell.”

Not chic. I just couldn’t help but wonder — does her husband like this? Is this considered attractive to the other men in the room? I’m all for being able to let loose and act comfortable and be casual, but most definitely not in this way.

Note: When I told my Italian-American friend about this, she said her response would have been “You’re not in your house.”

Armoire Part III of III/June 10th

June 10th, 2009 Kristi 4 comments

labellafigura6-10-012 Outfit:

Turquoise Velvet Tee

Navy Target skirt

Vintage Oscar de la Renta turquoise/black/white scarf

Black Dansko sandals

Silver bracelet

*I changed out of my skirt and into jeans and boots for soccer tonight.

Menu:

Breakfast: slice of homemade  bread toasted with butter and apricot Bonne Maman, cafe au lait

Snack: banana; coffee

Lunch: Romaine salad with homemade vinaigrette, pieces of salami, colby cheese, avocado and blueberries; slice homemade bread dipped in olive oil with parmesan sprinkled in it.

Dinner: Spaghetti with garlic, olive oil, parmesan cheese and tons of fresh ground black pepper; romaine salad with avocado and honey mustard homemade vinaigrette; wine

 Finding your Style

with the help of one of my all-time favorite books:

 Simple Isn’t Easy, How to find your personal style and look fantastic every day!

by Olivia Goldsmith and Amy Fine Collins

I quoted from this book yesterday and decided to include more from it. This little pink book made a HUGE impact on me. It completely changed the way I dressed, the way I thought about dressing and how I shopped.

If you are really struggling to establish your “style” here’s  some strategies or “six never-fail fixes” the authors give:

1. Use a Single Color

Priscilla, a big, tall Texas blonde, wears virtually any silhouette, from a minidress to a formal suit — as long as the outfit is red. “Valentine red makes me happy,” she explains. “And I get my variety in wearing my skirts slim or bouffant, or wearing slacks and sweaters or any shape I want to. It’s just all in red. It’s become my trademark, in a way. All my friends give me red gifts. My little sister does the same with cotton-candy pink.

The single-color strategy is especially common in the fashion world, though there the color of choice is most often black (a gathering of designers, models and editors could be mistaken for a pallbearers’ convention). Why black? Because almost all blacks go together — not to mention the fact that that day’s stains and wrinkles seem to disappear, and that black is always slimming. Also, black has been perceived as chic since before Chanel invented the little black dress. “Black is not a trend. It’s there forever,” says Geoffrey Beene.

But remember that there is a complication in the one-color strategy: not all oranges are created equal. Nor is the one color that you have chosen always going to be available. One reason why the monochrome look is most popular with red, black, white, beige or navy is because these colors are fashion perennials and almost always offered each season. Even if a color is meant to be consistent, dye lots change from bolt to bolt and season to season. Certain colors are deemed to be “in” by the garmentos one season only to disappear by the next one. If you’ve settled on your favorite shade, just be warned that color is sometimes harder to match than to contrast or combine.

2. Stick with the Perennial Fashion Colors

As mentioned above, this is another color-based fashion strategy. Use black, white, red, beige and navy. You can build a wardrobe just on mixing these five colors and add from the best of any new season’s offering, secure in the knowledge that they will mix well together.

(This is one strategy I whole-heartedly embrace!)

3. Select a Single Silhouette and Stick with it

This one is tricky, since we know all too well that silhouettes change faster than leaves in autumn.

Mary, Amy’s friend, is arrestingly chic at age eighty and has been wearing the same dress for decades. Boy, does she look great in it. No, not just one dress, silly! A whole closet full of jewel necked, long-sleeved, knee-length chemises that she sews herself, copied after one very costly original purchased way back in the midsts of time. Amy’s seen it in fluttering light silk in  the summer, thick nubby tweed in the winter and it never ceases to impress. Mary not only found her style at an early age, but had the courage, savvy and spirit to stick with it.

A friend of mine bypasses retail establishments altogether. Tomboy-casual yet well-groomed, Jan wears either jeans and cardigan sweaters she handknits or suits made by her husband’s tailor, “always cut from the same pattern. And cheaper than lots of off-the-rack women’s suits.”

Sophia Loren has her own bifurcated version of this strategy. “I like classic clothes for day, but when I go out at night, I like fluffy evening dresses. When you walk in one you feel like you are conquering the world.” Well, it works for her. I’d feel silly and self-conscious in a huge taffeta skirt. But hey, she’s got her (two) uniforms and I’ve got mine.

4. Stick with a Single Designer

There are times when that rare miracle occurs. You try on a dress or a pantsuit and you know — it was made for you. It fits everywhere. It flatters, it feels good. You want to wear it out of the shop and never take it off. You want to sleep and shower in it. Who designed it? What’s on the label? Thank the maker. If you’re lucky (and the designer is good) it will be like coming home every time you slip on his clothes.

Diana Vreeland, while fashion editor of Harper’s Bazaar, had the opportunity to wear anything in the world, but day in and out, she wore only Mainbocher suits. She found a designer, she found a uniform and she looked divine. In fact, she became a legend.

Cynthia Carter, wife of Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Graydon, has a completely different look which also transcends fashion. For her it is about masses of dark curly hair, pale skin and romantic, layered ensembles by Romeo Gigli. No one else looks like her, but everyone else looks AT her — admiringly.

Amy also wholeheartedly embraces this monogamous fashion philosophy, in her clothes (Beene), her pantyhose (Hanes,) and even her exercise wear (Gilda Manx). She finds this strictness about her choices liberating.

But buyer beware: With Seventh Avenue pattern makers, fit models and fabricators changing as often as your underwear and design teams large enough to fill a football stadium, consistency in a given label is rare and should be valued. When it’s found, be faithful.

5. Stick with a Single Outfit in Every Color Available

Geoffrey Beene’s design assistant tells us his most fashion savvy clients often purchase the same outfit in every color available, rather than buying all over the entire collection. The manager of one chic shoe boutique in New York says that her most well-shod customers do the same with their favorite pumps or boots. I myself have the same pair of terrific lace-up boots in black, brown and tan.

6. Dark Bottom, Colored Top

As I mentioned (earlier in the book), I came up with a fairly simple solution for myself: Pear-shaped, like most women, I feel most comfortable and look best in dark slacks or skirt and tights. But because head-to-toe black is too boring and severe for me, I add my neutral-toned jackets and sweaters, often with a white blouse under them. If your upper half is your better half, I add this suggestion of Eleanor Lambert, creator of the International Best-Dressed List: “Save interesting details and colors for above the waist — people will notice your face first, not your hips.”

The authors end the chapter with this thought:

“The unifying principle behind each of these strategies is what we call THE RULE OF ONE. One color, one palette, one silhouette, one outfit … ONE STYLE!

“The single idea that rings through all these approaches is that simplicity and discipline are necessities. Very few women have the time, interest, money, talent and lifestyle to support a wardrobe that requires Imelda Marcos’s closetful of shoes and a dedicated ladies maid. Yet you may feel these suggestions threaten you. Examine your resistance. Where’s the variety? you may wonder. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the unexpected? Not to mention, what will you do with all that extra junk hanging in your closet now?

“If you do feel threatened, ask yourself: Is this what I want from my clothes — excitement, variety, thrills? Sadly, we’ve observed that for many women what they really want in their LIVES appears only in their CLOSET. My friend Lisa kept buying little cocktail dresses whenever she shopped. One day, she had what we call a moment of fashion enlightenment. “I NEVER got to cocktail parties,” she confessed. “But I can’t stop buying these dresses. I think I want to live the life I’m shopping for.” There CAN be fun, pleasure and excitement in YOUR closet, but it should be based on your reality. If you don’t have a place to wear a dress you want to own, then change your life, not your wardrobe.

A few other rules to remember as you “try on” a style.

Accept that you can’t be everything. Letting go is a part of this process.

Accept that you can’t have everything. Even if you could afford to, it wouldn’t help you to look better.

Pick the things you can live in most comfortably and happily. Some things look good but don’t feel good. Others are the reverse. People tell me that I look good in red, and I can see that I do. But I don’t feel comfortable in red. So I’ve given it up. Decide on the things that work best both ways. We all want to find the utopian place where comfort meets good looks.